I have now been living in Madrid since November and since then I seem to be getting myself into situations with women. I dont seem to be doing things wrong but instead seem to be getting into relationships (if thats what you can call them!) where there is always a third party (boyfriend) involved.....unfortunately I only seem to find this out after I start seeing the girl!! Please tell me surely not all women in Madrid are like this?!?!?! Are there any nice, friendly, decent, interesting women in Madrid? Or are they all just false and want the to hurt for fun (not that I was hurt in any sort of way as men dont feel hurt do they!!)?

im sorry to hear that pitufo

well i guess i depends on how much you feel for and "invested" in that person to gauge the hurt-o-meter.

and why cant men feel hurt? is it a sign of weakness and vulnerablity? (well yea ok granted, but erm.. shouldn't we embrace our feelings and acknowledge them instead of being in denial??? then again i understand there has to be a limit to mopping)

Pitu- sounds like you're just turning your attentions to the wrong women!

Have you tried asking them if they're involved with someone BEFORE anything happens?

Listen to this, it might sound strange but I do believe that Spanish people like going out and having a good time, generally there will be a partner there somewhere but the good lusty feeling that Spaniards have for life can sometimes be confused by us Anglo/Saxon/Celts for something more basic. I see it all the time in the bar. There is something that can be learnt from each other, loyalty,trust and respect to start with, plus the fact that I think we can all be just a little out of synch sometimes. Language, both verbal and corporal, can be misinterpreted to such a degree that you can end up writing poetry!

Heh. Well said tubbymurphy! Even now i still think that although i could sustain a basic level of comprehension in the language, i still do get people telling me to stop speaking in flowery language. Hehehe.. i recall having thought before that pregunta is pregnant and boy i never thought a mere word being capable of extreme confusion.

Aaaaaahhhhh, spring has sprung and love is in the air :l:

Saludos,
jer...

Pitufo,
You need a Rat Dog like our Traviesa to help meet people (wondering here if Irene will give her the whole tortilla) :



Women love this dog! :l: Whenever I take her for a walk in the park, I get mobbed (even if Irene is with me :ks: )! I advise my single friends to borrow Traviesa for an afternoon stroll, but so far none of them has done so. Guess they still don't realize what a lady magnet she is. :jeje:

Seriously, when I was a student there, I met women like the ones you describe, as well as those whose parents wanted an American son-in-law "because all Americans are rich". Both are unfair stereotypes. There are plenty of nice girls in Madrid, but being a big, fast city, it does take time to meet them. Tubby's post is right on the money about misunderstandings too.

Personally, I really enjoyed the madrile�as' enthusiasm to go out and have a good time and their capacity to be interested in so many different things. The best thing I can suggest is just immerse yourself in madrid and enjoy it. Don't set any expectations for relationships; rather, get involved in groups (music, literature, outdoor sports, photography, etc., whatever your interests are) and have a good time. :cheers:

Hi Pitufo,
I think there's something else that sometimes happens with us "foreigners" - we are seen as a temporary diversion, people think we're going to be going away in a few weeks or months (some times we are) so we are perfect affair fodder, sometimes they also think that is exactly what we want too --and there are lots of tourists or students who do so that's one stereotype you have to suffer for. It is also a reason some times it's hard to make good friends when you move to a foreign country, people don't want to invest emotionally on you if you're going to go away.
I think Paulandirene gave great advise, and I don't mean the part about taking Traviesa out for a walk but the part about joining a group where you'll have something in common with other people there, it's a great way to meet all kinds of people and if something romantic develops out of there it might have a better chance. My last Spanish not-too-significant-but-nevertheless-fun "media naranja" I met on a ski trip and that relationship lasted a couple of years. It'd be interesting to know how other people here met their Spanish "pareja", c'mon guys, spring is in the air, share your romantic story!
Lena

Hi, Lena. I haven't met my significant other yet, but I definitely think that it will be someone in Spain. Guys in the US aren't sutting it for me and with time growing short for me in the US, I know that nothing will happen here.

Going to Spain and meeting people have been very interesting indeed. I find that men in Spain are more interested in me as a person rather than in my body. I get really good conversations when I am in Madrid.

What do others think when comparing people they meet in Madrid to people in the US. I just happen to like the men in Spain much better.

Shawn

quote:

I think there's something else that sometimes happens with us "foreigners" - we are seen as a temporary diversion......it is also a reason some times it's hard to make good friends when you move to a foreign country, people don't want to invest emotionally on you if you're going to go away

Lena, I think you hit it right on the head. I think most Spaniards (and Europeans in general) make friends more cautiously (slowly) than most Americans, and it is difficult to invest in something that is soon gone.

When I was a student at the Complutense, one comment I heard from Spaniards is that the foreign students they had made friends with in school returned home and were never heard from again. After a few rounds of this, one begins to think it might be better to just be involved for the sake of diversion.

people,
thanks so much for the advise, i must admit i never expected such a fantastic response! Perhaps I am just crying out for attention!!! (joke).
So Paul.....when can I borrow the pooch?!?!

No seriously, thanks again - but one other question.........where on earth do i find these so called social clubs? I mean I love football, tennis, like to definately improve on my spanish as well as English language spelling!!!!!

I'll bring the Rat Dog next time we come to Madrid! :jeje:


From http://www.cityguide.travel-guides.com/cities/mad/Sport.asp

quote:

Madrid has some 45 city-run polideportivos (sports centres) offering wide-ranging facilities, including gyms, swimming pools and tennis courts. Polideportivo La Ermita, Calle Sepulvedo 3/5 (tel: (91) 470 0111), is one of these.

...Tennis: Madrid has many tennis clubs but most are private. Many polideportivos (see above) have tennis courts that are open to non-members. The standard fee per hour is €4.

I'd suggest you go visit a few of these places and find out if you can put up an ad announcing you are looking for tennis partners.