Hi Everyone --

Haven't been around here much and fear my time will be even more limited within a week or so. The due date is coming up fast!

Just thought I would post the website of the school where I have been taking birthing classes. The classes are at the Dr. Aguirre de Cárcer Center located at Rios Rosas, 54. There are four different class types with a total of 25 hours of class time. There are 10 hours of theory classes (5 2-hour classes), 8 hours of practical classes ... exercise/breathing techniques (8 1-hour classes). The father is required to attend the last two of these classes if he intends to be in the delivery room with you. Then there are 5 hours of childcare (puericultura) classes which cover feeding schedules for the first year, common ailments, breastfeeding, etc. After the birth there are two post-birth classes.

The course is pretty good. I have found the theory classes to be a bit overkill since they start with the fertilization of the egg, etc. The childcare classes, despite all my years of babysitting, are very helpful as are the practical classes. The fathers are invited to all sessions of the childcare and theory classes. On the average, there are about 80 people in my theory classes and almost as many in the childcare classes. This course is covered by both Sanitas as well as Adeslas. I don't know about the other private health insurances.

Shopping for baby stuff is a whole other world! I am blown away at the costs (and styles!) of the baby carriages! Of course the one that I really like (but didn't get) had to cost more than 1,000€ with all its accessories!

Can any of the experienced Moms and Dads out there give me an idea of what is a reasonable hourly wage for a babysitter here in Madrid? Our neighbors told us it costs about 600€/month to have a live-in Chinese nanny! I don't know the legalities of it all. Just an FYI for anyone who is interested.

Hey Chica--
Wow, getting down to the wire now.... Good luck with everything and keep us posted when you can. Looking forward to seeing the little guy/girl at summer mm events!

About babysitting. I am a firm believer that you get what you pay for... I'm not sure that I would feel comfortable having someone watch my child who didn't speak Spanish... what would he/she (okay, I know "he" is unlikely, but a girl can dream) do in an emergency?

We pay 10 euros an hour. I think this is a bit more than the norm, but I could be wrong. As such, we can't afford to have a babysitter more than one night a week. But we have had two great babysitters who are now practically like family. And, personally, I would take an extra job just to have the babysitter once a week--after the kid gets to a certain age--it's mandatory for sanity purposes.

Maybe someday we could start a mm babysitting coop? We had something similar in my neighborhood in DC. A group of parents got together and planned babysitting swaps once a week or month.

Hello
Well I am in my 8th month only 7 weeks to go and I am debating in sending her to a guarderia or getting someone from 7am to 8pm , those are my working hours. The only problem that i have is finding a person who is responsible and good with children. I do not know where to start looking. I have asked friends but I live outside of Madrid and it is difficult to find one that can do those hours and come out there. I will be having my baby in La Clinica Belen. Anyone has had a baby there or going to have their baby there?
Sheila

Go Sheila! Go Sheila! I hope you don't have the same bad insomnia that I am suffering from now... not to mention the sheer discomfort sleeping at night. "They" say it's good preparation for those middle of the night feedings....and if that is the case, why doesn't Ángel suffer from any of this? He'll be getting up in the middle of the night just as much as I will!

As far as finding a babysitter, I totally agree with Mariposita in that the sitter must be able to speak Spanish. I am seeking one who speaks Spanish and English natively. I would much prefer word of mouth recommendations, but it has been difficult.

Have you tried putting an ad in loquo? I have an ad there and have gotten several responses. I also have an ad on jer's classifieds but no bites just yet.

Our little one is going to be born at Clinica La Milagrosa. I am finishing week 38 and counting!

Right now i have been lucky and sleeping well. I try to exhaust myself , by adding activities like going to the gym at 7am , going to yoga classes and walking at least 1/2 an hour a day. Although I admit that the closer i get all i want to do is go and have a nap. I am still working lots of hours and asking myself how much longer i can keep up this pace. I do not want to use my maternity leave because I want it to dedicate to my daughter. I hear that many ask for a medical leave which does not intefere with maternity. But some doctors do not give you the medical leave and well may have to stick it out til the end. How about you , are you still working??

Chica--

Believe it or not, my insommia that last month was so bad that I felt a lot better rested once the baby came. I've never seen so many sunrises (which sounds nice, but it wasn't at all for a nocturnal creature like myself).

I'll ask our babysitter if she knows anyone good who is looking for work. Would it be part-time? During the week or on weekends?

Have you found a pediatrician yet? We are still looking for a really good one... We've had far better luck finding good specialists than everyday doctors.

Ok, as the resident "Nanny" this is an area I feel qualified to put in my two cents about.

* I've put salary expectations next to each title.

Here are the definitions as listed on the International Nannies Web Page
INA In-Home Child Care Definitions
There are a variety of terms for people who work in the home. Here are the
definitions used by the International Nanny Association to describe various
in-home child care jobs.
Babysitter
Provides supervisory, custodial care of children on an irregular full-time or part-time basis. No special training or background expected.

Au Pair (Foreign){*in Spain expect to pay about 60-90 euros a week plus the agency fees if you go through an agency}

Foreign national in the United States for up to a year to experience American life.
Lives as part of the host family and receives a small stipend in exchange for
babysitting and help with housework. May or may not have previous childcare experience.

Parent/Mother's Helper {*150-200 euros a week depending on whether its a live in or live out.}

Lives in or out and works for a family to provide full-time childcare and domestic help for families in which one parent is home most of the time. May be left in charge of the children for brief periods of time. May or may not have previous childcare experience.

Nanny {*200€ + a week for a live in and based on experience and hours, think around 10€ an hour if for a live out, same as above.}

Employed by the family on either a live-in or live-out basis to undertake all tasks
related to the care of children. Duties are generally restricted to childcare and the domestic tasks related to childcare. May or may not have had any formal training, though often has a good deal of actual experience. Nanny's work week ranges from 40 to 60 hours per week. Usually works unsupervised.

Nursery Nurse {*€€€€}

Title used in Great Britain for a person who has received special training and preparation in caring for young children, in or out of the home. When employed by
the family, may live in or live out. Works independently and is responsible for everything related to the care of the children in her charge. Duties are generally restricted to childcare and the domestic tasks related to childcare. Work week is usually 50 to 60 hours per week. In addition to specialized training, the nursery nurse will also have successfully passed the national British certification examination of the National Nursery Examination Board.

Governess {*€€€€}

Traditionally an educationally-qualified person employed by families for the full-time
or part-time at-home education of school-age children. Functions as a teacher and
is not usually concerned with domestic work or the physical care of younger children. Hours of work by arrangement.
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In addition to what they've listed you have the lady who does everything (can be either live-out or live-in, but live in's are provided with a room of thier own and usually a small bathroom though it is common to have them share a bathroom with the child). They seem to usually be asian or latina (in every country I've been in so far) and I believe thats who your neighbors were talking about when they mentioned the 600€ a month though I've seen notices for 6-7 euros an hour. Word of caution, most people I've met who do the everything jobs aren't focusing exclusively on your child which may not be a big deal. In my experience most people either excel at working with children, or they excel at cleaning a house, but few people excel at both. It might sound stupid but for my money I'd rather my child was looked after rather than my kitchen was spotless. If you get this type of person I think I would lower my expectations with regards to cleanliness of the house (not the baby obvously) so that the person is more focused on your child thus going for the more baby oriented person. However I would also stress that just because the baby is sleeping is not a time for them to be cleaning like the devil to make up for the time they spent focused on your child. Looking after babies may seem really easy but it can be tiring depending on the day and the babies disposition. Therefore it's important if the person is watching your child for a long period of time be able to relax when the baby relaxes and not have to worry that their going to get told off at the end of the day because the floors aren't mopped or their are a couple bottles in the sink. This doesn't mean of course that it's ok if you leave the house spotless in the morning it's okay to come home to a sty, but most of the women I've met who do this work are intrinsically neat anyway (and no offence, but I've yet to see an entirely spotless house of first-time parents of a newborn {unless they have a full-time cleaning woman}- it's not the top priority).


Then you have your babysitters/ students. They often have about the same experience as an AuPair, are usually in the same age bracket, but are almost always live-out unless you choose otherwise. However as your not providing room and board, you pay them accordingly. I'm not sure what the rate per week is, it depends on how many hours you need childcare, but if your providing them with 20 hours or more the price is generally lower per hour but goes up as the hours go down. This is providing for the fact that babysitting for a couple hours as opposed to a day can sometimes be more stressful as it requires you to be more ON. I thought 10 euros sounded a bit high, but if your really comfortable and happy with the person you've found I would shell over a few more euros. When someone earns a fair, or slightly higher than fair salary it pushes them to be their best (not in all cases though).

The spanish adore children though, have you not considered placing an ad for a grandmotherly type to mind the baby for you when you have classes? You only need someone for a few hours a day, no? I thought about it when I saw your add offering an exchange for Spanish classes as I really need those, but you need childcare during my peak teaching hours.

Good luck in your search,
Bonnie

WOW! a lot to take in th ere Bonnie but great info, thanks.

Chica...

quote:

I also have an ad on jer's classifieds but no bites just yet.

your ad on the classifieds reads...

quote:

Seeking English speaking babysitter to care for newborn 3 hours/day Mon-Fri 4pm-7pm. Area of Plaza de Castilla. Offering serious Spanish language classes in exchange. Pay in lieu of classes may be negotiable. Please only (native) speakers and those with experience with newborns need apply. Thank you.

... but you places it in the services section which is where people offer services but what you are doing is offering a job. i would move it to the "Other Jobs" section under "JOBS/EMPLOYMENT" (click HERE to see that section).

i would not look for child care in exchange for spanish classes and say that maybe pay is an option.

as mariposita said, you get what you pay for and you wee-one is the most important thing in your life. that type of ad will attract the backpacker type drifter that YOU DO NOT WANT TAKING CARE OF YOUR NEWBORN just like the backpacker type english teachers that one would not want to hire at a serious academy.

just my 2 centimos.

saludos,
jer...

quote:

WOW! a lot to take in there Bonnie but great info, thanks.

Just wait till you get me started on childrens literature and music, I become a right bore then. It's the price you pay for having devoted over ten years of your life to something.

*quick note, never refer to your childcare provider with a title other than what you hired her for. Nannies HATE being refered to as Aupairs or babysitters, and I've met Aupairs and babysitters who cringe when they're refered to as Nannies. As well if you shell out the serious €€€´s for someone who's especially qualified for instance a Governess or a Nursery Nurse, they will not take kindly to being refered to as anything other than what they are. Believe it or not it's a profession like any other with it's labels and titles. If you refered to a 4* Chef as a fry cook, you might find your liver as tomorrow's special so have respect.

**um, also little gifties are nice as well. Like for instance if you know your carer likes a type of soda, keeping it in the house. Or if you travel abroad bringing back a little something typical from where you were, that type of thing.

quote:

... but you places it in the services section which is where people offer services but what you are doing is offering a job. i would move it to the "Other Jobs" section under "JOBS/EMPLOYMENT" (click HERE to see that section).

Thanks for the heads up on that jer. I hadn't realized it was in the wrong category. I´ll change that now.

quote:

i would not look for child care in exchange for spanish classes and say that maybe pay is an option.

as mariposita said, you get what you pay for and you wee-one is the most important thing in your life. that type of ad will attract the backpacker type drifter that YOU DO NOT WANT TAKING CARE OF YOUR NEWBORN just like the backpacker type english teachers that one would not want to hire at a serious academy.

Point well taken. I have hired many people in my life...both here in Spain as well as in the USA and can smell a backpacker teacher (or unqualified candidate) a mile away. Believe me, we know exactly what we are looking for and no such "drifter" babysitter would get near our soon-to-be.

I disagree with what you say about the money part. Yes, you do get what you "pay for" but that pay can be in other forms besides monetary. Not everyone is motivated by money...even the highly qualified Nanny suggested that she would have been interested in the classes if it weren't for the schedule conflict.

Without going into too much detail about the working arrangements, the babysitter would be in a semi-supervised setting ... not alone in the house ... with the newborn.

Bonnie, thanks for those nanny links and the definitions. I am sure they will come in handy in the future. Our baby already has a grandmother here who will be spending time with him/her. I want to make sure that there is English language exposure. The more, the better, which is why we are looking for an English speaker. Too bad the hours conflict with yours...but as you can imagine, they are also my peak teaching hours as well which is why I need someone for them.

Sheila -- I am working until the water breaks! All of my clients are on notice! Maybe next week they will come to class with mops in their hands!

mariposita -- we haven't started to look for a pediatrician yet. I see my OBGYN on Monday and will be asking him for recommendations. As far as the babysitting... jer copied my ad to the forum. But essentially we are looking for someone to sit approximately 4 hours a day Monday-Thursday or Friday. Depending on the flexibility of the abuela.

For the record, if you ever need weekend or week night babysitting so that you can have a night out, I would do that in exchange for Spanish lessons.

And for anyone interested if you provide the blank CD your welcome to burn any of the childrens music from my collection. I have some really good lullabye music as well as some fun playtime music for toddlers. Monday's, Wednesdays, and Fridays I'm free till 3 so we can either meet somewhere or you can come over and pick what you like.

And for anyone interested who might be having disapline issues, I'm a pro! Feel free to pick my brain at any time.

Thank you so much for all the advice. I do have a question , can you recommend a book after the baby is born. Any book on getting the baby to sleep? I appreciate it thanks.

quote:

And for anyone interested who might be having disapline issues,...

jejejeje, ena has had them with me since the day we met but i am not sure i am "curable"

quote:

...can you recommend a book after the baby is born. Any book on getting the baby to sleep?

ena says the heavier the better for a whack on the head to put me to sleep

saludos,
jer...

I recommend the book by Marc Weissbluth: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child:

amazon link

It helped us a lot. A lot of common sense and not too hard-core in any particular direction.

I'm afraid with this one I can't help you as I didn't follow a book.

However the most important piece of advice I can give when establishing good sleeping habits is establishing a routine. It's really hard though as when they are especially little it's so nice just to cuddle them for 1/2 an hour before bedtime and let them fall asleep on you, but the danger is that once you start doing that it's easy to fall into a routine of doing that and then they need it in order to fall asleep. Even when they are tiny I start a basic bedtime routine. For example bottle, song (no one besides you and the baby has to hear it and quite a lot of mothers make up their own songs),kiss, put the child in the crib, say good night, and walk out of the room (I'm usually still singing the song as I'm going out the door).

If your starting this routine for the first time it's obvious that your child is going to cry. It may sound harsh but I don't have a problem with children crying themselves to sleep. If their diapers clean, they've been fed, and there is no obvious problem with them then I let them cry at bedtime. If they are still crying after twenty minutes then it's okay to quietly go back in, check that they don't have a fever, say goodnight again and go out. In this day and age with baby monitors it's possible to listen to the child so you know if there's a real problem. The important thing is to find a routine and stick with it. Eventually bedtime with take a lot less time. In most of my past positions I could have the baby quiet in bed with-in 15 minutes of starting, and that included a bath, story, and a song.

The point is to be matter of fact about it. This is not a punishment, it's just the way things will be and once your child becomes familiar with the routine it will give them a sense of security because they know whats coming. Bath, then pajamas, then story, then song, then kiss, then bed. My mother used a coo coo clock with me when I was little. When the coo coo bird came out after Sesame Street (we lived in Germany at the time and the English version of Sesame Street ended at 7:30 or 8) it was time for the bedtime routine to start.

Try to steer away from the extras like glasses of water, one more kiss, one more story, one more song, these can just go on and on and you'll eventually lose patience and the child will start crying and then you'll feel guilty. Also give warnings to toddlers, for instance "five more minutes till bedtime". They won't know how long five minutes is but it lets them know bedtime is coming up.

Children are so intelligent and they learn really fast what works with you and how to push your buttons so you need to be consistant and stand firm.

Anyway to sum up, routine is essencial and lack of routine and consequences is at the root of many of the behavior issues in todays children.

Ok, I'm done! (I warned you I could go on about this stuff forever)

Kisses for the little ones,
Bonnie