Shawn for someone so religious you have seemed to lose all of your faith.

Lately it seems as if you are questioning your own belief that if you put your life in god's hands that he will take care of you.

This reminds me of the story of the guy who was drowning in a flood and holding on for dear life for god to perform a huge miracle and save him.

When the water was up to his knees a helicopter came along to try and throw him a line and he said no thanks god will come save me.

Next, when the water was up to his waist a guy comes by on a row boat and ask if he needs any help and again the guy refuses and says no thanks god will come save me.

Then when the water was up to his neck a guy in a hot air balloon shows up to offer him a lift and again he says no thanks god will come save me.

Finally the man drowns and when her gets to heaven he sees god and asks him.

God, why did you not come save me?

God answered: What do you mean?
Didn't you see the helicopter, row boat, and hot air balloon that I sent you?

Shawn. We are all in your corner and trying to give you advice but your recent negativity and been there done that / unwillingness to bend attitude make it hard to even try to help you.

Shawn, I do have to agree with Rocco. I was also surprised to read above that you "knew that your time in Spain would be short". That is not what I got from all your posts before you arrived in Madrid. I know you don't like me saying you are being negative, but I really do feel you are being so to a certain extent. I hope you are not being too rigid in your decisions, as, like Rocco said, everyone is on your side, and you must not forget that!!!!!!!!!!!